welcome to isla nubar! tonight, you are part of an exclusive, once-in-a-lifetime event: the soft opening celebration of the futuristic, newly reimagined jurassic park, held specifically to honor travis kelce's 36th birthday!
the celebration begins right here in the main plaza, beneath a canopy of twinkling lights. get ready to feast on the best of the prehistoric and modern worlds, with gourmet food trucks offering everything from kc bbq and street tacos to elevated, fancy dino nuggets, burgers, made to order pizza, and an outrageous french fry bar piled high with every topping imaginable. our dj is here to ensure we dance the night away, playing hits from every decade all evening long.
please also feel free to visit any of the available stations placed strategically around the park. our apex predator dna match station is a sleek, glowing terminal with only the newest technology! guests are invited to place their hand onto the hand scanner pad, where a geneticist will draw a dinosaur dna percentage match and a corresponding personality trait. if that’s not your style, feel free to visit the open-air photo booth in front of one of our jurassic park jeeps! just don’t look behind you - you may have a friendly herbivore or two lurking during your photo. we've also got a live hatchling viewing, where you can gather near an incubator to (hopefully) catch the birth of a brand new baby dinosaur - just another perfect night in paradise!
you can also immerse yourself in the story of how this new jurassic park came about. feel free to eavesdrop on conversations between the scientists themselves, who all seem to be huddled around a cracked ipad, arguing with one another in hushed whispers all night. don't worry, though! nothing is wrong at all! at 10:00, the lead scientist will make his way to the stage, offering to lead the crowd in a loud and rowdy rendition of happy birthday for travis. he'll end his speech with these words: "may this be a night you never forget. enjoy your time in paradise."
when the clock strikes 10:30 pm, paradise officially ends.
the music cuts out, piercing alarms begin to blare, and the colorful party lights are replaced by harsh, flashing emergency strobes. the park has suffered a catastrophic system failure. panicked jurassic park "workers" will immediately usher our esteemed guests to what they promise is the only secure zone remaining on the island.
follow their instructions, stay close, and please do not panic. your journey through the party has ended. your fight for survival... has just begun.
All staff abandon non-essential assets. Do NOT use park roads. The primary perimeter is offline. If you hear vocalizations, find immediate cover and REMAIN MOTIONLESS. They hunt by movement. This is NOT a drill.
food truck alley
dance floor
dna testing
xx alycia
the tunnels: guests are quickly moved into a damp, dark maintenance tunnel by frenzied park staff where low, broken lights flicker on concrete walls. distant, gutteral roars sound in the distance as staff do their best to calm everyone down. without warning, one of the staff members in the front screams as he's dragged away. guests are quickly ushered into the nearest room.
the incubation nursery: guests enter a large, humid room meant for the live hatchling viewing. the glass is now shattered and emergency alarms are still blaring as guests are forced to step over egg shells just as they make their way through the room, an incubator in the centre of the room launches forward, and an aggressive, hissing compsognathus leaps forward and darts out the back door. workers shout for guests to continue moving as quickly as possible.
the predator feeding bay: guests are rushed down another narrow hallway with loud footsteps following behind them. they are then pushed outside. the lighting is gone, and the only illumination comes from the sparks of intermittently short-circuiting electric fence bars. the noises outside are overwhelming: deep, resonant growls shaking the ground. one worker shouts, "forget you guys! i'm outta here!", drops his radio, and makes a run for it. another picks it up, trying to call for help. "don't breathe too loudly! and don't touch ANYTHING."
the great escape: the last stretch is a short, desperate run through a wide, unlit chamber littered with destroyed party decorations. the only light is from flashlights which have been handed out a random to party guests. the sound of someone (or something) running behind the guests sounds loudly, as well as shrieks of hungry dinosaurs. a shadow flashes across the group - a dinosaur silhouette, snatching one of the two last remaining park workers with a blood curdling scream. the final worker opens an emergency exit, begging you to hurry through to safety. you made it right back to the party. the dj is still playing music, the lights are still on, and it's like nothing ever happened.
